My Christmas Address to the Nation

Well another Christmas is upon us and it's time for me to step up to the mark, as the Boss's appointed successor, and deliver my festive reflections, as he did every year. And I've decided, perhaps surprisingly for a Border Terrier, to explore the concept of goodness.
          Now this is not something that Rolo would have featured in his blog. He was a dog whose natural inclination was towards naughtiness. If ever there was a choice to be made between the right and wrong thing to do, he always went for the latter. However, it's not that he was bad, just mischievous, unless of course you were a rabbit, or a pigeon, or a grass snake, then it was a different story. But put him with Juniors and he had a store of patience beyond that of many dogs, me included.
         And in spite of the Boss's best efforts, I am naturally a good fur. I don't mean this in a goody-two-shoes, obedience champion, kind of way. I just mean that I'm a people focused dog who wants companionship and fussing. I stick so close to 'Her Indoors' that after watching 'His Dark Materials' on the TV, she now refers to me as her daemon. I can be naughty, like having a little chew on her Christmas present from 'Him Indoors' left under the tree, but I don't like a raised voice in my direction and I need lots of loving, so I tend to stick with what makes 'Them Indoors' happy.
          Goodness is understated and under-reported. You only have to check out Twitter and the BT Posse to see lots of examples of people and dogs watching out for each other and helping with little acts of kindness and concern. They may not make the news but they make for a better everyday life. And there are lots of little acts of kindness if you look for them. 'Her Indoors' bought a potted Christmas tree from a local supermarket and when she bent down to pick it up, found it was considerably heavier than she thought it was going to be. She later discovered there was half a watering can of stagnant water swilling around in the bottom of the pot, but she was saved from putting her back out by a man who sprang to her assistance and insisted on putting it on her trolley for her. I personally, would have weed on it, and added to the general fluid weight, but there we go, we all have a different approach.
          'Her Indoors' also does writing for wellbeing at two local hospices and one of the reasons that she really enjoys it is the goodness she finds there. About a quarter of the human resource for hospices nationally, are volunteers, so there are lots of people doing fine work: chaplaincy, counselling, complementary therapies, gardening, working in the cafe, driving, flower arranging and just sitting and chatting to folk, all for free. There are 'Pets as Therapy' dogs doing their bit too. They may charge the odd gravy bone, and one of them may be a spaniel, but they do fine work making people feel just that little bit better. Also, those who are ill are often very compassionate to each other and provide mutual support. The paid staff are lovely people too, doing a great job for patients and their families.
          So this Christmas, let's celebrate the goodness that goes on, out of sight and unheralded. It's easy to think, when you look at the TV or in animal shelters, that the world has gone to pot, but it hasn't. There's a lot of goodness out there. Right, having got that off my chest, I'm back under the Christmas tree. 'Her Indoors' had a second parcel from 'Him Indoors' that looks equally tempting..! Happy Christmas everyone.

Goodness in doggy form!

Except for the odd little mishap.....

Nope, nothing to do with me.....

Clever Teddy?

There has been some debate in the 'Them Indoors' household as to how bright I am. 'Him Indoors' reckons I'm a genius just because I like him, whereas 'Her Indoors' reckons I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. As she's comparing me to the Boss, Rolo, who was undoubtedly one of the smartest dogs you could ever hope to meet, an intelligence he deployed with an admirable focus, in finding his way around all the petty rules and regulations 'Them indoors' like to impose, that's hardly a fair comparison. Anyway, to demonstrate my intellectual capacity, I thought I'd have a go at an academic essay. 'Her Indoors', with admirable timing, has her first assignment of her PhD, due in early January, so she's been huffing and puffing at her computer. I think she' making heavy weather of it personally. Take a look at mine and then come on, University of Lancaster, hand over my dogtorate!

Question

Is it acceptable for a dog to be made to wear a Christmas jumper? Discuss, with reference to relevant literature.

Introduction

In modern Instagram times, it is increasingly popular to dress dogs in Christmas jumpers. Whilst there are varying views on this, unquestionably, it should be the dog’s that are paramount, however, we will be considering a range of others before growling with hackles raised, undermining their research techniques, and blowing them out of the water.

Before we consider this important question, we need to first establish the exact meaning of key terminology. A Christmas jumper is a knitted dog coat that responds in a similar way to knitted swimming trunks when wet. It features a festive yet secular scene, often but not always, adorned by pom-poms highlighting salient features for jocular effect. Whilst it might be appropriate at this point to define ‘dog’, referencing perhaps the vernacular alternative term ‘fur’, but if you don’t actually know that a dog is a furry four-legged creature with a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other, then you really need to book yourself into elementary education classes, ideally at a pre-school level, and jog on. This paper is addressed at intelligent individuals.

Against Christmas Jumpers

We shall be considering a range of sources, arguably the most redoubtable being a ‘Pet Owners’ Guide to the Border Terrier’ by Betty Judge. Whilst this is clearly a book focusing on Border Terriers rather than the more generalised ‘dog’, this bias is perfectly acceptable by any right-thinking person. Judge (1999 – she brought out an up-dated version in 2015, but ‘Her Indoors’ is too tight to buy it), doesn’t talk specifically about Christmas jumpers in her book but this does not stop an opinion being formulated, based on the clues in the text. She appears a no-nonsense old-school type who would be unlikely to approve, although she notes the tolerant Border Terrier nature with children ‘even allowing themselves to be dressed up and made to look silly’. I think that says it all Betty.

And the RSPCA, that champion of animal rights and welfare, agrees, or at least they did in December 2015. Not only are Christmas jumpers undignified, they may be cruel. The flapping around in anatomical regions where canines are unused to having flapping, may cause alarm and as dogs communicate with people and with each other, by using their ears, tails, body positions and eyes, anything that covers those hinders this vital process. However, the likelihood of the RSPCA finding a jumper that engulfs all of those body parts, unless of course it was made by ‘Her Indoors’ when having trouble with a knitting pattern, is very remote and provides a significant flaw in their argument. Jumpers are just that; jumpers. They cover the chest and back but have holes for the head and legs plus freedom in the wagging and evacuation departments.

On the Other Paw

So having established that the RSPCA don’t know what a jumper looks like, other research, more conversant with modern canine attire, must be referenced such as the definitive text on dog-human relationships, authored by the respected international authority, Rolo Stockton, ‘Sit, Stay, Roll Over’. He states that, for the older dog, a nice comfy coat can be a good thing, but he warns against fashion conscious owners making their dog look ‘a complete t*t’. Christmas jumpers might well come into that category and the attitude advocated by Stockton (2017) of ‘what’s in it for me?’ needs to be consistently applied if the correct decision it to be made. Even the RSPCA acknowledges that for short-haired or no-haired breeds, young, sick or elderly dogs, a little festive woolly might actually be beneficial.

To get a wider selection of canine views, we will consider a recent survey, conducted via Twitter. A random self-selecting sample of 128 respondents, out of a potential 1453 followers, were given a choice of three possible responses to the concept of Christmas jumpers for dogs. Results were evenly divided between ‘a warm extra layer’ 31%, ‘a bit of fun’ 35% , and ‘make a fur look a t*t’ 34%. The results reflect the dichotomy of views expressed by Stockton (2017) and the RSPCA, but, on the other paw, consideration needs to be given to the fact that these are tweeting dogs, so they’re a bun short of a picnic in the first instance. Some of the individual feedback suggests a more positive view. @BonnieBooBT suggests that not only does she like a jumper, but it pleases her humum, which adds an extra validity. @kthreadgold113 suggests that he sleeps better in a jumper and @bodie4paws intimates that a jumper is like a blanket so they are quite happy. However, there are some dissenting views. @b_terrierists suggest that a Christmas jumper is ‘like being trapped by a scary monster’, and @baggins_tilbo agrees that ‘I don’t like it. I try everything to get it off me’.

Conclusion

 This varying range of views needs to be taken into account in any final conclusion, but the evidence suggests that there is a slight edge in favour of Christmas jumpers as an acceptable demonstration of festive cheer. Further research would assist in reaching a definitive conclusion, but it is suggested that furs take to their beddie before exerting their mental capacities any further.

Bibliography

Judge B, Pet Owners Guide to the Border Terrier, Ringpress Books Ltd. 1999

RSPCA, Somewhere on the internet *waves paw vaguely*

Stockton H, Sit, Stay, Roll Over, Quill and Apple Publishing, 2017

BonnieBoo et al. (not sure who Al is, but he’s very productive) 2019. Does anyone read this far anyway to be honest…

And here's my academic poster.........

I Saw Teddy Deading Santa Paws....

Well Pals, me and 'Her Indoors' have been working on a little pawformance for the BT Posse Christmas concert in aid of Border Terrier Welfare. I use the term 'working' loosely as I've just been playing with my new Santa toy. 'Her Indoors' has spent weeks trying to encourage me to do that fun spinning thing with my toy and I've spent weeks refusing to do it. Once she had given up, got the video edited, and the music, and I use that term loosley too, added, I spent a full evening spinning until I was dizzy! 'Her Indoors' was not impressed. Still, you know what they say, never work with children or animals! A big thank you to 'Her Indoors' friend Danielle for help in the editing.

She's getting her revenge.....

 

CAUTION: This video contains some very dubious singing that may cause an afront to anyfur musically inclined. You have been warned!

A very merry Christmas to my wonderful friends in the BT Posse and their hupeeps. You are the best, truely......