Teds Talks.....: Beating the Bug

There has been a lot of talking about the Corona virus to the point that even 'Her Indoors' has realised that this is not about a nice man bringing bottles of pop to the door and every bubble passing its fizzical, but something more serious and threatening altogether. She's even remembering to refer to the virus as Covid 19 and not Corvid 19 which is a relief. What have crows ever done to her?
However, in the face of a national and international crisis, us dogs, as usual, are having to step up to the mark, so I just thought I'd share some advice on useful things we furs can do.

Provide distraction. 'Her Indoors' spent some time on the phone to her parents, so I waited until she was thoroughly engrossed with discussing on-line supermarket shopping, and then I went for it big time in the toy deading department. Duckie has a nasty hole and leaked stuffing all over the carpet, although with radical surgery he might survive, and penguin is now missing both wings and a leg. He's finding getting around a problem! '
Assist in the hand-washing department. They are supposed to be washing them regularly and for at least two minutes. That's slightly longer than it takes me to consume my tea, just as a useful rule of paw, so I suggest you sit outside the bathroom or cloakroom door and give them the stink eye if they don't keep scrubbing for the allotted time.
Assist in social isolation when out on walks. I can be quite reactive around other furs, and I'm not very good with children, so there's very little chance of anyone getting within two meters of 'Her Indoors' anyway. If you are naturally of a more sociable disposition then you'll have to work at this one, but see what you can do.
Help stop panic buying of loo rolls and paracetamol by getting them to focus on stock-piling dog noms instead. Fortunately my brand of preference, Lily's Kitchen, can be bought on-line so I'll be okay. I suppose I could share with 'Them Indoors' if things get desperate, but only as a last resort.
Make them book holidays in remote, dog-friendly self-catering accommodation. They will be virus free and you will be on holiday with them. Sorted!
Volunteer your services as a food distribution agent. I like the idea of little panniers or even a trolley that I could tow to people who haven't got enough food. There would be a small percentage surcharge of course...
Provide them with company whilst they're self-isolating. As we dogs don't get the virus, we can take our rightful position at the centre of their universe, or even better, the centre of their sofa and big bed.
Keep in contact with the outside world via dog social media. It contains a lot more sense than their own accounts will ever do and they can't catch anything that way, although to be honest, 'Her Indoors' keyboard could do with a wipe of something anti-bacterial if you ask me.
Model keeping calm and carrying on (sleeping) through the entire thing. A good example is everything.
Demonstrate mindfulness and the fine art of living in the moment, taking pleasure in simple things like rubbing your itchy back all over the best cream carpet, toy spinning, and, if you are very lucky, sun-puddling in a bit of spring sunshine.

In addition to the above, we will of course be fulfilling our usual function of bringing joy to their lives and making them smile, which in very uncertain times is a big bonus. So, my friends, be kind, be careful, be there for one another and stay safe.